"Testimony of Being a Living Kidney Donor"
Beth Loner
December 2007

It is true that some choices you make in life change you forever. The choice can change your perspective. It can change how you define yourself or alter how others look at you. This kind of choice, in and of itself, makes you uniquely aware of the needs of someone else. This is an account of my choice that began my journey of transformation.

Though in my twenties, the wife of my best friend, and the mother of two young daughters, my journey to living kidney donation began simply enough. I experienced the slightest tug at my heart when I read an announcement in the bulletin at church on a Sunday morning. The daughter of a member of the congregation needed a kidney, and the mother was asking for someone to donate. There was something about the request that made me stop. It is not something that you read every day. A person needed a kidney in order to live. As I reread the request I was struck by the realization that only a small number of individuals would be able to meet the demands of organ donation and major surgery. My immediate reaction was the thought that has continued to resonate within me these last months, "If it is the Lord's will, I can do this." It is a simple statement, but my supportive husband and family, my medial history, and my current state of health, my past experiences with surgery and recovery, and my current vocation were all factors that reinforced that fact that I can do this. I can donate my kidney. I figured at the very least I could be a good candidate. So with prayer I began the process. I asked for God's guidance, for His will to be my will, for His desire to be my desire. I appealed to the Lord to open doors that were meant to be opened and close doors that were meant to be closed. I would take steps of faith knowing that God was in control, and I walked forward.

That afternoon I spent some time researching kidney transplants. After talking it over with my husband we agreed that it was worth getting more information. After a few quiet moments of prayer and consideration I decided to call the contact number. I introduced myself and told her why I was calling. She was shocked by my phone call and did not think that anyone would actually call. In fact, she had only put the information in the bulletin at a friend's insistence. Her daughter was living in Chicago with her husband. She had polycystic kidney disorder, a genetic disorder that had killed her grandfather when he was 40. The mother herself suffered from polycystic kidney disorder and had a kidney transplant 12 years prior from her sister. Now the daughter had been diagnosed and the doctors wanted to put her on dialysis while she waited for a kidney. The mother asked if it was all right if she gave her daughter my number. That was fine with me, and later that evening I received a call from the daughter.

Following that conversation, she contacted Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago to give them my information. The hospital overnighted the checklist for initial tests that needed to be completed to determine the compatibility of my kidney with her body. As part of the preliminary tests I had blood drawn, a chest x-ray, an EKG, and a 24-hour urine sample. I also received a packet of information from Northwestern about the donation process, a medical history evaluation, and a release form to be signed for my medical records. I thought it was the perfect set up for God to do a miracle. Either the doctors would find something wrong with me or the Lord was using me, a willing vessel, as the answer to her prayer.

I was excited at this point about the prospect of being able to help someone in need of a kidney. Just after the test results came back she asked me to wait to continue the process because her brother had arrived from California to donate his kidney to her. Within three weeks she and her brother were recovering from their surgeries. At this point I was neither convinced that the door to donation was firmly open or closed. So I decided to wait and continue to pray for the Lord's will to be done. Shortly after, the nurse in charge of donors from Northwestern called to review my preliminary test results and to see if I was still interested in donating my kidney to someone else in need. I did not give her an answer that afternoon, but said I would consider it and call her back.

That evening my husband and I discussed the possibility of donating my kidney anonymously to someone on the transplant waiting list. It was essential for me to have his support. I believe that through the covenant of marriage my body is not my own and my husband's body is not his own. "The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife" (1 Corinthians 7:4). If at any moment he had decided that donation was not okay I would have stopped the journey. He was aware of the entire process. He was there through the blood work and medical tests. I cannot say he was excited about his wife having a major operation, but together we came to the conclusion that giving someone else the chance to live outweighed the potential risks to our family.

A few days later I phoned the hospital to inform them of my decision to continue the process of kidney donation. I was thankful that the initial recipient was given the gift of life from her brother and I asked the Lord if He could use my body to save someone else's life. I took steps of faith knowing He had complete control to stop the process at anytime. I went into Chicago to have more blood work done, a CT scan, and to meet with a social worker for a physiological evaluation at Northwestern. When I heard that the results of those tests were excellent the hospital and I planned a surgery date that would work for my schedule. Thus, December 14, 2007, became the date of the operation. Two weeks before the surgery, the hospital airmailed more tubes for blood to be drawn for the DNA screening and testing. This blood work was necessary for the transplant staff to match me with the best possible recipient.

Having made the decision to be a "Good Samaritan" donor, I chose not to have any influence as far as who received my kidney. In the age of the Internet I could have been as involved as I wanted when it came to choosing who would get my kidney. There are websites where I could have met potential recipients. I made the decision to stay away from that process because I did not feel comfortable being put in a position where I would have to tell someone whether or not I was willing to give them my kidney. Everyone on the donation websites needs a kidney, and who am I to judge who has the greatest need? I was not willing to make that kind of a decision.

The hospital took all of my test results and matched those with the most compatible recipient. Some factors that determined the recipient included the person's overall health (relative to the fact that they need a kidney transplant to survive), and the person's genetic make up to ensure that the recipient's body would not reject my kidney. A person with a poor heart condition would not have been considered compatible because of the risk of surgery for them. The recipient would also have been age and size appropriate for my kidney. The hospital referred to my donation as a gift of hope.

During the process I heard some arguments about why I should not donate my kidney. It was important to acknowledge people's concerns and develop an answer for myself. I attempted to lovingly respond to each and every concerned individual. The most common reason against donation was that I am young and I should wait ten or twenty years "just in case". I knew that at 25 I was young, but because I was young my kidney was young. I responded by saying that my kidney would be that much older if I waited. In addition, I would have used my kidney longer than I needed to while someone else may not have found a match. In other words, I was aware that the person that was going to be matched with my kidney was also young and I knew they would receive a kidney that would last a lifetime.

Another argument against living donation was that I am a mother. I have a responsibility to my children, and it is because I am a mother that I am brought to tears thinking about another mother's child dying from kidney failure. I knew that whoever received my kidney was someone's child. They were someone's grandchild. Perhaps they were someone's brother or sister, aunt or uncle. The person may have even been a mother or father. I have been asked what would happen if one of my daughters needed a kidney. If I was certain that one of my children would need a kidney I would save it for them, but there is no family history of kidney problems on my side or my husband's side of the family. I would not deny someone who needs a kidney now from having my kidney because of the minute chance that one of my daughters may need my kidney some day. Since I am donating I hope that my actions will be an example to them and they would make the sacrifice for each other if it was ever needed, though I would not expect that of them. I was a homemaker and my husband and I arranged for a friend who was home from college on Christmas break to help me care for our children and the house during the days while I recovered. Our two children were near me during recovery.

Our three year old was sweet about the whole thing. She was worried by my scars, but my husband and I assured her that the doctors cut Mom to make someone healthy who was very sick and Mom would be fine. The family of the recipient gave the girls two stuffed animal dogs that were named Kidney and Bean at the suggestion of my husband in his good sense of humor. At one point our three year old looked at my scars and asked me if I needed a kidney. She preceded to hand me the dog named Kidney. I thanked her for her gift. It is amazing how the minds of children work. In God's great mercy He has used my body to bring two children into this world and now save the life of another.

A frequent concern was about the surgery and recovery. The surgeon performed laparoscopic surgery by using three short incisions in my abdomen and adding onto previous scars from my cesarean births for a hand assisted removal of my kidney. The scars fade with time, but I consider them my battle wounds. The scars serve to tell my story; they are evidence that I have lived. Before surgery I was told that the recovery was comparable to having a cesarean birth. Having had two cesarean births, I felt that I was prepared for the recovery. After having had the operation I can assure everyone that it is comparable to c-sections but easier in many aspects because there were no hormones, nursing, or a newborn that could slow the process of recovery. The surgeon, a male doctor by the way, told my mother and me that young men had the most difficult time recovering, and women who were mothers complained the least. We chuckled at his comments.

My family has been incredibly supportive, and I could not have made this journey without them. My parents were leery of living kidney donation at first. I prayed for the Holy Spirit to work on their hearts. He answered my prayers. Since I told my parents about my desire to be a donor they have met two people who have received kidneys through transplantation, and their stories encouraged my parents to support my decision.

The week before the surgery the hospital made the match. Four days prior to the operation I traveled to Northwestern Memorial Hospital again to meet with the surgeon to go through the transplant surgery. The nurse in charge of donor patients said the hospital had told the recipient that they were getting a kidney and would not have to wait any longer. The nurse said the family was crying. The realization that a family just learned that they were getting a kidney before Christmas and would not have to do dialysis hit me hard, and I choked back the tears. Words cannot describe how happy I was for the family. I would have been okay if at any moment God had closed the door until the point when the hospital told the recipient that they had a match. Then I went before the Lord asking that there would be no false hope for the recipient and their family. I prayed that I would remain healthy, and their body would accept my organ.

The day after the surgery, the recipient asked to meet me. She was in her thirties, a wife and a mother, who had been on dialysis for four and a half years while on the kidney transplant waiting list. My pain and discomfort from surgery paled in comparison to hers while she anxiously waited for a kidney donor. Her brother had also had a kidney transplant, and the family had previously suffered through the process. Her genuine thankfulness overwhelmed me and my husband. Meeting the recipient was one of the most precious moments of my life. I will never be the same having met her. Our stories and our lives are now intertwined. I pray that she will be able to experience life to the fullest, that she will offer a gift of love to others as she has been given a gift of love.

I realize that I put myself in a position of unnecessary risk by willingly having an operation to remove an organ, but I do not question the value of a life. Statistically the chances of experiencing complications are low. For statistical and general information about living kidney donations the National Kidney Foundation's website www.kidney.org was a helpful resource. Unpredictable things happen all the time, and my husband and I were aware of the risks. My recovery was monitored by the surgical team. Fortunately, I recovered well, and the surgeon informed me that my body adjusted to having one kidney within a couple of weeks. I was able to resume my lifestyle without any alterations.

In deciding to donate a kidney I had to evaluate whether the risk is greater or less than the suffering of someone who was dying of kidney failure. Before I heard about the initial recipient I did not know of anyone who had kidney failure. Once I knew about a need of someone else I felt I had a responsibility to acknowledge their need. There are not enough hours in the day to meet everyone's needs. Being a living kidney donor was an opportunity for me to give to someone else. Making the choice to be a living kidney donor is not for everyone. Each individual must make the journey for themselves and it may come to an end at any point for a number of reasons.

The journey to my current state, having had my living kidney donation surgery on December 14, was a fruitful one for me. I had to examine my values, defend my decision, and hope for the best putting my trust in the Lord. I cannot just say that the decision to donate was based on logic and looking at statistical data. My personal faith had the greatest influence in my decision because my faith is the basis for what I value. In the end, my discomfort from surgery and possible complications did not keep me from giving another person, no matter who they were, a chance to live. I could defend my decision until I was blue in the face, but it came down to a step of faith- realizing that I was putting myself at risk for the opportunity to give someone else a chance to live. My experience is an example of God doing something great through a willing servant, skilled surgical team, and a needy recipient. It was little acts of obedience that led to this life giving event.

My decision to donate was not an attempt to earn my way into Heaven or to get heavenly brownie points. My salvation is entirely reliant upon the grace of God and the sanctifying blood of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. The decision to be a living kidney donor was a personal choice that requires introspective reflection. Perhaps hearing about my journey will inspire you to reach out and help someone in need.

In closing I would like to quote from a man, Oswald Chambers, whose writing helped affirm my decision. "God always instructs us down to the last detail… He does not speak with a voice like thunder- His voice is so gentle that it is easy for us to ignore. And the only thing that keeps our conscience sensitive to Him is the habit of being open to God on the inside. When you begin to debate, stop immediately. Don't ask, 'Why can't I do this?' You are on the wrong track. There is no debating possible once your conscience speaks. Whatever it is- drop it, and see that you keep your inner vision clear."